i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
