Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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