I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
