Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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