after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
