Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Randomize
