who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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