also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
