She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
