Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
