love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize