I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
