So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize