they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
