I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Princesses don't give blow jobs
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
