so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
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