from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
