Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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