I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
