hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
