remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
she told me i tasted like america
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
