I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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