I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
