is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
