For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
