i may or may not be watching the land before time
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
