Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
