Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
