if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
How does one acquire holy water?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
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