I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
