is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
