dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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