Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
