There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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