there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
