You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
