Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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