what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
