dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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