I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
