I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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