so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
