would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
