I seem to have left my pride at pride
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
