Your face is a jimmy john
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
