Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
we're making bets on your personal life
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
