I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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