why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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