I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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