Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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