ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
