Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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