They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize