Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
