so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
