omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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