My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
