I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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