i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
