about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize