Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
