porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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