Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
